


No One Likes Finding Out Their Parents Have Sex

by Blueismybusiness



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Hint - BokuDai, Hint - TsukiHina, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, mature for language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:55:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23790412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blueismybusiness/pseuds/Blueismybusiness
Summary: Tanaka will never ever volunteer for anything ever ever again.Get it Suga!
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 22
Kudos: 161





	No One Likes Finding Out Their Parents Have Sex

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aquaticEchoes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aquaticEchoes/gifts).



> This fic was inspired by [cool wet moss](https://twitter.com/acemossy/status/1252688743431049219?s=21) twitter post. Thanks so much for letting me confiscate your idea. It was a lot of fun to write!
> 
> Also, thank you to jadehqknb for beta-ing.

It’s free practice and Daichi has accounted for and made sure everyone (yes, even you Tsukishima) is participating. 

That is, everyone _except_ his vice captain, who is inconveniently nowhere to be found. Which wouldn’t be an issue really, but Hinata and Kageyama are at it—again—and Daichi would like to practice some, too, instead of babysitting.

“Suga?!” Daichi calls out, hoping his mischievous coworker is nearby enough to hear him. “Suga!”

Tanaka wanders by and Daichi grabs a handful of his jersey on his shoulder, “Where is he?”

Tanka shakes his head but replies, “I can go get him.”

Daichi releases him with a smile of approval and a pat on the shoulder. Tanaka rolls his eyes and saunters off.

*******

_Damn_ , he _knew_ Kuroo would be good at this. The first time Suga laid eyes on Kuroo he just _knew_ the Nekoma captain would be talented in more than provocation. Since then, he’d dropped subtle hints of his interest, hoping Kuroo would pick up on them.

He didn’t know officially if Kuroo was into guys or not, but Suga’s gaydar is on point, just like he _knows_ Tsukishima is torn between smothering their tiny, redheaded teammate or bending him over the nearest flat surface. It’s too bad Hinata is oblivious because they could be cute together, but Suga digresses and that’s another problem for future meddling.

Point is, Suga was right on the money, Kuroo _was_ into guys, and by the end of the last camp he made sure Suga knew too. And Suga? Well, he’s determined to bend _Kuroo_ over the nearest flat surface before this camp ends if he has his way.

Which he will.

Because he’s Sugawara Kōshi.

Right now, however, he’ll settle for a taste of what’s to come, and let him tell you, Kuroo tastes _good_. His tongue is as talented at mapping the entirety of Suga’s mouth as it is at frustrating his opponents on the court.

And despite how lanky he is, Kuroo has strength, which is apparent in the way he pastes Suga to his front, the wiry muscles of his arms flexing over Suga’s shirt, and Suga is aching to feel the heat of him on his bare skin.

He’s also debating whether or not he wants to indulge that mouth around his quickly stiffening sex.

“You’re pretty good at this,” Kuroo mumbles between kisses, his warm breath tickling Suga’s lips. His tawny eyes are slightly glazed and heavy lidded, like he’s drunk or high. Suga totally understands the feeling.

“Less talk, more kissing,” he replies, chasing Kuroo’s mouth because, damn he could get addicted to those plush lips.

Kuroo chuckles, his deep voice rumbling through his chest and into Suga’s, causing the most delicious shivers to wrack his body. Kuroo hugs him closer. As if there was any room between them anyway.

“We should probably stop before we start something we can’t finish,” Kuroo says, leaning back with a smirk as he looks down at the growing tent in Suga’s gym shorts.

Um, pot to kettle, like he’s any better off.

Suga grins right back at Kuroo. This boy has no idea what he’s gotten into. He fists Kuroo’s shirt, dragging him down to his level so he can put his lips at Kuroo’s ear.

“Darling, I fully intend to finish this,” he purrs into Kuroo’s ear, inwardly screaming with pride as Kuroo’s whole body trembles. He runs the tip of his tongue along the outer shell of Kuroo’s ear before pulling the lobe into his mouth and sucking. Kuroo swallows, _hard_ , and groans.

“You’re trouble,” he whispers back and Suga just chuckles.

“But I’m fun trouble,” Suga replies, releasing Kuroo. He doesn’t go far before he’s crashing their lips together again, messy, desperate, and promising.

“...uga?”

The sound of a familiar voice only vaguely registers in Suga’s ears. He’s too busy to pay attention to his surroundings, too turned on at this point to be careful.

“Suga? Daich-san is...looking for...you…”

That...that sounds like…

Suga jerks away from Kuroo. “Wait…” he says, turning around, “Tanaka?!”

“Oh hey,” Kuroo greets him, looking extremely unshaken. The bastard.

Tanaka just, sort of, stares...at them, his expression a cross between “I just caught my dad cheating on my other dad with someone else’s dad” and “I, the innocent child, just caught my dad being lewd with another person”.

Suga sighs, pulling a hand down his face. “This isn’t gonna work…”

“What...why not?” Kuroo asks, looking at Suga’s dumbstruck teammate. “Ah, he’s dead.”

“Maybe...later?” Suga asks, apology in his tone, and what he hopes is intent in his gaze. The light blush on Kuroo’s cheeks says Suga got his point across.

“I’ll hold you to it, Suga-chan,” Kuroo replies, placing a sweet kiss on Suga’s cheek before walking off and back to the gym. 

Suga giggles, watching him leave, then turns to Tanaka who’s still frozen and now staring at him. Suga sighs and shakes his head.

“C’mon, Tanaka, let’s get back.”

Suga walks past him, grabbing his shirt by the back of the collar, dragging his poor teammate behind him.

*******

Over the next two days it’s like Tanaka discovered hidden ninja skills. Everywhere Suga goes he’s there, peeking at Suga around corners, staring at him. And anytime Suga manages to get even a little close to Kuroo, Tanaka is there, between them, arms crossed over his broad chest, face twisted in a cartoonish grimace of intimidation as he stares Kuroo down, challenging the rival captain to make a move.

It would be hilarious if it wasn’t excruciatingly frustrating. Tanaka is proving to be the world’s biggest cock-block, and Suga’s usually unfailing patience is failing, his last nerve quickly fraying.

Suga is horny and Tanaka is about to experience the wrath of someone who hasn’t had his satisfaction.

It’s just after dinner and Suga is trying to skip out in the few hours before lights out is called, hoping to kidnap Kuroo for some quality alone time, but Tanaka has managed, yet again, to finagle his way into ruining Suga’s plans. Again.

“Hey Daichi-san!” Tanaka calls their captain just when Daichi finishes clearing his plate and setting it in the dirty dishes bin to be washed. “What do you think about some extra spiking practice?”

Daichi looks back at Tanaka and opens his mouth to say something, but Suga refuses to be beaten this time. It’s the last night before the end of camp. Tanaka _will not_ win.

“We’ve been working non-stop all week. I think a little relaxing would be good for the team, don’t you think, Daichi?”

“But, Daichi-San, don’t you think Hinata-kun could use a little more work at syncing with Suga’s cues?”

Of course Hinata, who was hurriedly stuffing the last of his rice into his mouth, perks up like a dog who hears the word “walk” when he hears his name and spiking practice in the same sentence. “Rah! Goo idea, T’naka!”

“I could help,” Kageyama adds from next to Hinata, his face dotted with granulas of fried rice and bits of carrot.

Suga is going to _kill_ Tanaka.

“Daichi,” Suga says, turning to his best friend and co-captain, “Don’t you think it would be a good idea for team morale to relax tonight? Don’t you think that letting our bodies recover will help us take better advantage of the last of the training camp?” He stares at Daichi, daring him to contradict him, his gaze promising pain and suffering if he disagrees.

Daichi knows Suga and reads his expression clearly, his eyes widening in slight fear as he rubs at the back of his head.

“I think I agree with Suga. Mandatory relaxation. Let your bodies heal and recover and we’ll get back to it tomorrow.”

Victory! Suga smiles at Tanaka, smug in the knowledge that he absolutely rules over everyone and will not be denied his dues.

“But-but Daichi!” Tanaka stammers, staring between his captain and the vice captain.

“Tanaka, may I have a quick word with you?” Suga asks, sweetly.

Tanaka looks at him and gulps, curling in on himself and trying to make himself smaller. “I-I think that...um...y-yeah, okay,” he concedes as Suga raises his chin and one eyebrow in expectation.

Amid the stares of their teammates, and a few other players, Suga grabs Tanaka by the ear and drags him out of the cafeteria.

“Ow, Suga-senpai! Ow! Wait! Ow!”

He pulls a whining Tanaka behind him, down the hall until they’re out of earshot of anyone who might hear them.

“Alright, Tanaka,” Suga demands with hands on his hips, “You have thirty seconds to explain yourself before I punch you.”

Tanaka gapes at him, his mouth opening and closing, and his eyes wide in justified fear.

“Wait! I mean, c’mon!”

“Tanaka.”

“Look, I know I said I wouldn’t say anything, but you can’t believe I was just gonna sit by and let you-you... _cavort_ around with the enemy, did you!? You, you traitor! That’s what you are, a traitor to your beloved team! An assassin of progress and victory! You’re a plant, aren’t you?! A spy for Nekoma! You’re secretly a member of their team, integrating with us, making us trust you, only so you can sabotage our ride to the top-“

“Tanaka,” Suga says, holding up a hand to stop his hysterical ranting and trying to hold back his amusement. Why are his teammates so extra?

“Do you hear how ridiculous you’re being?”

Tanaka chokes on his last words and balks at him, crossing his arms over his chest and pouting. “I’m not wrong,” he replies, petulant like the five year old he is.

“You are,” Suga assures him. “Look, I’m not a spy or a plant, and Nekoma are not the enemy. Our rival, yes, but not an enemy.” He smiles at Tanaka, softening his expression and Tanaka starts to relax, searching his face for the truth of his words.

“It’s just sex,” Suga finishes. Tanaka reels back with a gasp, horrified.

“Suga!”

“Oh come off it! I’m a seventeen year old guy with a very high libido and Kuroo is hot. Tell me you disagree.”

Tanaka looks at him for a moment before a blush lights up his cheeks. He rubs at the back of his neck and looks away. 

“Not the point.”

Suga sighs. “You know, we already have enough dramatics between Tsukishima and Asahi. I would think you would be a bit more mature, especially because the first years look up to you so much.”

Bingo.

Tanaka puffs up like he’s being given a medal. “They do, don’t they?”

Suga smiles indulgently at him. A moment later Tanaka deflated and he sighs.

“Fine,” he says, “Go be gross with your...your secret rendezvous.” He waves his hand dismissively at Suga who chuckles.

“Thank you,” Suga replies with sincerity. 

Tanaka turns to walk away, grousing the whole time, “Daichi-san would be so disappointed.”

Suga can’t help it and calls at his back, “Daichi’s been fucking Bokuto this whole time. If you’d been paying attention you would have noticed it.”

Tanaka freezes with his shoulder hunched, and as Suga sallies off with a spring in his step to _finally_ find Kuroo, he hears Tanaka’s cry of despondency following him down the otherwise empty halls. The pride he feels is without match.

*******

The next morning Tanaka watches Suga bounce around the gym with extra pep like he had a great night. Kuroo, on the other hand, walks carefully and with a light limp, but his face is glowing.

Tanaka wants to claw his eyes out. He’s glad someone had a good night. 

“Everything okay, Tanaka?” 

Tanaka jumps at Daichi’s voice, gaze barely flicking to his captain as he stares blankly ahead.

“Un,” he replies, not having the energy for anything else.

A heavy hand sits on his shoulder and Tanaka looks up at Daichi, who is smiling tenderly back at him.

“Everything will be okay, Tanaka. You’ll understand when you're older.”

Tanaka stares at Daichi, his brow scrunched in confusion and he’s a little miffed because his captain is a whole year (barely) older than him. But Daichi just pats him on the shoulder and turns away to walk off and talk with other members of their team. 

It’s then that Tanaka notices the slight _limp_ and _glow_ , almost like…

Tanaka’s head snaps around to find Bokuto, who’s watching Daichi with a small, affectionate smile. Tanaka looks back at Daichi, who looks up at Bokuto from across the gym with the exact same smile, albeit a little more shy. Tanaka catches Suga’s gaze and Suga winks at him, then laughs full and loud.

Tanaka decides then that when he gets home, he’s moving to another prefecture.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are the air I breathe. Don't make me beg, it won't be pretty.


End file.
